A gentleman called recently, asking if I help people with obsessive-compulsive behaviors. I asked him to explain what he was talking about so I could get a better idea of what was going on here. He explained that he was very upset with his never-ending thoughts of needing sexual stimulation and his resulting behaviors.

Though he loves his wife, their sexual relationship had long been over: around ten years ago, his wife started drinking heavily on the weekends. His addiction began with the idea of getting a bit of ?sexual release? with phone sex, which then turned to Internet pornography. Soon he was visiting massage parlors for ?happy ending? massages. Next came the escort services. The guilt of it all was finally consuming him more than the release he felt from these activities. The monetary output was also quite high, making it harder to finish paying for his sons? college educations.

There was a sincere sound of pain and self-disgust as he talked. About fifteen minutes into the conversation, he started to tell me about memories of his older brother telling him to do sexual favors for him (my client was only ten years old and his brother was fifteen at the time). He gets along all right with his brother now, but why was he having these memories now?

At this point, I realized that there was something more to this case than a person who needed to know why he was doing these behaviors. I told him that, from what I was hearing, he had a sexual addiction and certainly had some issues that needed to be cleared. I suggested he come in and we would do a detailed personal history and he could decide on what he wanted to do once we had all the information.

This gentleman had a father whom he loved though the father became a drunk later in life. He had a sister who had become a drug addict and a grandfather who died of liver damage due to alcoholism. He himself had been placed in jail for driving under the influence while he was in his twenties, but had since stopped drinking due to an illness that put him in the hospital a few times over a period of six months. Obviously addictive behavior ran through his family.

I decided to clear the negative emotions and losses suffered. He also needed to do some forgiveness work for those who had harmed him. This set the stage for his addiction sessions. I am happy to report that he is doing very well so far and really does not even think of going outside for any sort of sexual pleasures. He has figured out that there are other ways that he can fill the void without spending money on an activity that created a great amount of guilt and drained financial resources that were needed to educate his sons whom he loves more than anything. He stated that he is calmer and able to sleep at night now, while spending his newfound time working on his rental property, learning more about real estate investment, and enjoying his family.

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