I have a surprise for you. This is one of the most peaceful periods in human history.

You wouldn't know it, because you see images of war, of violence every day.
Despite the media attention, war and violence is not only what is out there.
The number of conflicts is at an all time low.
Countries work together more than ever.

When you see and hear war and violence all day, every day, that is what you think there is.
It creates a sense of fear.
It is what your children hear about every day too.
They are in a way being trained to fear as well.
Because fear means money for the media and votes for politicians.

What to do when talking with your kids? When you talk about those big violent events with you children, you can focus on fear. You can also choose to put it in perspective. You can show sadness when someone shoots a large number of people. And you can talk about how North America has about 300 million people and that most of these people have very peaceful lives. Are nice to their neighbors and work together to make things better for each other.

There are over 180 countries now. And only a few are fighting each other. Most of the world is at peace.

Education isn't only learning about wars.

it is also about how media work and that happy doesn't seem to get as much attention as bad. How we get shown the bad things because we get a kind of scared feeling. And that more papers get sold when we feel that, or more ads get sold on TV when we watch these programs.

When you talk to your kids, with your kids, you can focus on hope.

You can talk about how so many countries work together now.

On how you see the same war all the time because luckily there is no other.

You can focus on how it is really sad how these acts of violence happen and that we should do everything to prevent them from happening.

But that being afraid of everyone isn't the answer. Because we don't have to be afraid of everyone. We can learn to work together and build trust.

"Sensationalism" is called that because we have strong sensations when we hear about certain things. And those strong sensations are coming only when we are not numbed by overload.

Seeing violence everyday numbs us, as it numbs our kids.

The same as with seeing sexual images all the time. Our kids learn to think it is normal. That is why the media, games need to be louder and louder all the time to get the strong reaction needed to sell more.

You can avoid all that.

By limiting what you watch, read.
By limiting or guiding what your kids read, hear, watch.
Some will call it overprotective, some will call it unrealistic.
I say that the image you get in the media, on TV, movies and games is the unrealistic part.

You can train your kids to see peace, to see friendly people. Not by being naive or by being careless.

By learning to make their own judgements in a good way, not by what is fed to them by people with their own money or power driven motives.

What it takes is that you are willing to stand up for hope instead of fear. For a great world instead of a bad world.

What you see is what you get.
What you see is what they will learn to see too.
And you can talk about that.
Every day.

Wouter van der Hall is the author of The Parent Program http://www.theparentprogram.com will give you easy access to positive parenting attitudes, tools and skills. The Parent Program is a 15 minute a day email/web based parenting program. You will feel more relaxed, confident and competent as you deal with parenting issues. 24/7 accessible at home and anywhere, so in your time, pace and comfort. To help you become the great parent you can be.

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